Nobody wants to hear the words, “your position has been eliminated.”
It definitely wasn’t something I wanted to hear less than a year into a new job. I promised myself that I was going to stay positive and really evaluate where I should go from there. I had no reason to panic, right?
I lied (just a little) to myself. I am a very positive person, but I am also impatient and with each passing day, sometimes, briefly, I let a tiny bit of panic into my mind that maybe I won’t find another job. Of course, I will find a job. The job market in Houston is good and I’ve had several interviews already. At the same time, I am still evaluating my career goals. What I call “evaluating” is what my family might call “obsessing.” I sometimes can’t help but want things to move a lot faster than they are moving.
The road to career awareness
The truth of my obsessive nature became painfully true on a recent road trip with my family. It took a billboard, literally, to remind me that slowing down my search might be a good thing. I really love taking long drives. It’s those rare quiet moments in the car with nothing but the road in front of me when I can really think about the things that matter the most to me.
As my family quieted down in the darkness of the late night highway, I was contemplating all the different options I have for my next career move. An unforeseen layoff? Now what? Should I try a new industry? Should I seek out what I had been doing or do something new? How picky can I be? How long will my finances hold out until I start feeling desperate?
The image of a billboard I had just passed popped into my head. “Don’t drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.” I kept saying those words over and over in my head and I was once again letting my mind wander off in a million different directions. “Don’t drive fast. Don’t drive fast. Don’t drive faster than your guardian angel. Don’t drive fast. I’m not driving too fast. I’m on cruise control. My whole life is on cruise control right now. Why can’t I make things happen faster? Ugh, construction zone detour. I need to go even slower. I don’t want a ticket. I just want to go faster. This is my life right now.”
Lessons learned on the road
The family continued to sleep and for some reason those words had me thinking of another time when my career didn’t go quite as planned. My oldest daughter, now an adult, was entering the 8th grade and I debated the pros and cons of leaving my beloved newspaper job where I had worked for nearly a decade. I loved being a journalist but the practical side of me won the debate. As a single mom, I knew I needed a higher paying job with stability because I would soon be paying for college. It never occurred to me how hard the transition would be or how lost I would feel without my title and byline. That feeling deepened when I left a city where I thought everyone knew my name. Houston was a much bigger city where nobody knew me.
At that point, I felt like a nobody without an important job title.
“Don’t drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.” I know that billboard wasn’t about me, but it was. I once realized too much of my identity had become wrapped up in my title, but it can happen again and again. I was on a fast track, but I didn’t account for any detours or the times you are forced to slow down. That sign helped remind me of things I have learned from previous career detours. It’s time for me to slow down and keep the things that are important to me in perspective during my career detour. Do you have other career detour tips to share with me? Here are some of mine.
- Forget your last job title – A title can hold you back and limit your options. Instead, focus on your skills, strengths, interests and level of expertise. Search for jobs using those as keywords instead of a job titles.
- Money doesn’t mean success – Be realistic about what you should be getting paid. Success isn’t always wrapped up in a higher paycheck than your last job and you may have priced yourself out of a wonderful opportunity. There should be a bigger picture whether it is about opportunity or achieving your career goals.
- Networking is for everyone – I am not a networker, but I have learned you can and should build your network slowly over time. Don’t wait until you need them to connect with people. Reach out to people who have common interests and who could possibly be mentors. This has proven extremely important for me and has resulted in most of the great job interviews I have had so far.
- Be you – This was the single hardest thing for me when I was younger. Don’t let self-worth become falsely tied up in your job. It makes it so much more devastating if that job doesn’t work out. This was one thing I did remember the day I was laid off and it made such a big difference. I was even somewhat excited about new opportunities as I boxed up my office. No tears.
- Slow down (pace!) – This is my newest lesson learned. What am I missing when I am so focused on finding a job and not the new opportunities that being at home offers? I am not just a career woman. I am a mom, a wife, a mentor and I once liked to write. I now have a fun list. Some of the things on my list includes taking my kids to the beach, playing putt-putt, picnics at the park, morning bike rides and, of course, road trips.
What are you doing to keep from driving faster than your guardian angel?
Jaymie – it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there when you’re managing all of these things. I’m so honored you wrote. Keep going. The open road helps is discover so much and I think your guardian angel had you precisely in mind that night and even today. Keep trucking.
Thank you sharing, I found this very interesting and helpful. I am speeding, trying to find a new job and then being depressed when one does not come along. I need to take stock of the important things in life. I have learnt not to go by my last pay check and forget my job title, but I am still rushing. I need to slow down to allow my guardian angel to catch up with me.
If slowing down was easy to do it would be first on my list. If you can’t slow it down, which is hard for me, then try to think ahead about where you will spend your efforts. Make a plan. That is what I am doing so that I don’t obsess too much about the job search. Looking at the computer all day won’t make that job happen any faster so l am limiting my time to a reasonable amount and doing things I use to wish I had more time to do. It’s not easy, but I am a happier person and I am starting to write again about things I want to write about. I forgot how much I enjoyed being a storyteller. Good luck with your job search. You are not alone. Katie recently told this to me and I am passing it on.
Thank you for this post. I love the idea of not outpacing your guardian angel Great metaphor at this moment in time when life is so fast and slowing down feels very uncomfortable. Enjoy the slow lane because the fast lane is always to the left and available. The advice I gave myself when my career took an unexpected detour: don’t take it personally and get around people who inspire me and people who are inspired by me.
Sue, I love those words: ‘The fast lane is always to the left and available.’ And I agree with all of you. Slow is harder, but in the end we get to wherever we are going for the right reasons.
Jaymie thanks for sharing – your story is inspiring. This fast lane metaphor has really got me thinking. The problem with being in it is that the signs and landmarks pass too quickly and you cannot fully appreciate the information and opportunities they are offering. So we need to find ways of getting back into the slow lane and take notice of the signs. For me that’s about mediation. I’m not an expert yet but it helps enormously. The busier I get, the more I need it and the more powerful it is.